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Back in New York for a minute – a week actually, maybe 10/12 days, depending on how things are back in Cotherstone… sorting out my lovely apartment to sublet it for 6 months/a year while I’m busy elsewhere… it’s been high summer, hot and humid, I’ve had to have the noisy old air con running while we create chaos and hopefully remedy it – “we” being myself and my selfless best friend Claudia – this is a situation where you learn your true friends… they include several of the Kamikazes and other assorted cohorts, who are housing various chunks of my possessions in order to make room – bless you one and all. Sam the cat is none too happy – they do like order, cats, and they don’t like change… neither do I, but it’s necessary, and so make the best of it.

In attempting so to do, I took time out on Monday night to go to the weekly MTO session at the Stone – oh joy – so good to stand under the waterfall of that music, and to see so many friends – a bit of a heartbreak as well, reminding me of what I’m missing, but you can’t dance at every wedding, as they say… or funeral… oops, bad taste… the apartment sorting has been a bit of a heartbreak as well, taking apart my world, but cathartic as well, in some awful way… I feel I will be better prepared for what’s coming down the pike – whatever it is… and lightening the load is always good…

Back in the frozen north – it’s the middle of May and temperatures are still in the single digits – good lord… but hey, my hike this afternoon took me to Faggergill along Arkle Beck in Arkengarthdale – how bad can it be?

Well, you never know, do you? If you just let go and trust, sometimes it works out… By sheer good luck, I was still there when Christian (whom I’d visited in Marseille in March) showed up in a lovely little 9 meter sailing boat, the Tikouk, along with its owner/captain Madji, having sailed up from Béjaia in Algeria, and with them I realised the dream of a lifetime and sailed around the island. There wasn’t really time before my scheduled departure, but mum said if I came back without having done it she’d never forgive me… god bless her… so for 3 long days and 4 lovely nights I did a total disconnect from the rest of the world and had the time of my life. Hardly a summer’s idyll – barely even spring, it was COLD – we had every conceivable wind and sea: (in no particular order) no wind, too much wind, perfect wind, hot sun, cold, blue sky and clouds, grey overcast, thunder and lightning, lashings of rain, huge seas, and a final night sail by full moon… oh, and dolphins!

The three of us made “une très bonne équipe” – Madji the dashing captain, Christian the first rate first mate and me, willing crew and honoured guest – even in the worst of the storm off the north coast, I had total confidence in both them and Tikouk – she’s a lovely seaworthy vessel, with no frills but extremely well appointed. Aside from the great sailing, I slept the sleep of the just every night in my little berth & we wined and dined really well – they had caught a large fish en route, a sargo or white seabream (which christian had immediately cleaned and filleted and stowed in the very efficient little fridge on board) and it fed us the entire journey, along with algerian potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, calabasin, etc. Even with the boat careening along at 5 or 6 knots at a 45 degree angle in big swells, christian cooked and served dinner – and did the dishes – what a mariner… the one disappointment was not being able to anchor the last night in one of the idyllic south coast coves, as the southerly wind and big sea made it impossible (not to mention that we didn’t have a detailed nautical chart of the island!), but the compensation was a fabulous night sail, ending with hours of gliding by the light of the full moon with only the genoa, to take us back to port in Maó. I thank my lucky stars (and Christian and Madji) for such a chance.

Trying to seize the carp while all hell breaks loose… it feels seismic, nothing is firm underfoot, sometimes I feel crushed by the weight of the world, my world, my burdens, but I know it’s all so ephemeral – here today, gone tomorrow… trying to figure out a longer-term sublet of my apartment when lo and behold, after 17 years on the waiting list, I’m offered a studio in westbeth. but I’m here, it’s there, and someone ahead of me on the list takes it before I can figure it out long-distance – so it goes… back to the sublet conundrum…

meanwhile, a brief sojourn on my island retreat, to open up after the winter and take a week’s break – muy variable – sun, wind, grey, rain, wind, clouds, sun – the heavy freeze that killed christian’s garden in marseille did much the same here, but walks are full of wild flowers.
Tylar. a friend from Oregon days (30 years ago) and a truly great felter (check it out: www.ecosleepsolutions.com/tylar_merrill.html) joins me for the beginning, and is great company as well as great help in all chores inside and out… the new wood stove makes a world of difference in heating and drying out the house… more tree pruning tomorrow, so next year’s wood supply should be in… sometimes the place feels like one giant headache, now that I’m the responsible party, but it is still magic, when I can lift my eyes and spirits from the depths… how will we fare in the future I cannot say… mum has had yet another op, bless her, more slicing and dicing – she seems to have come through pretty well. diana has been with her since I left, but she goes back to scotland tomorrow… I’m coming, I’m coming… I was hoping to get some serious writing time while here, but alas, it seems not to be… too much going on…
Talking of writing, the music for Septimus and Clarissa has been nominated for a Drama Desk Award for Outstanding Score – nice to get some good news for a change…

“Hooray hooray the first of may
Outdoor f—ing used to start today”

Less than a week off from Brecht and Eisler, we had a freak snowstorm last Tuesday (my birthday!) which dumped 6 inches of wet, heavy snow on all the darling buds of march… I was up in scotland visiting my sister faire, where it had been 24 degrees only days before – go figure…

Various and sundry splendid expeditions were made while up north of north: to the beach on the Moray Firth; to Cromarty and the Black Isle; to Ullapool, across the highlands on the west coast, where you catch the ferry to the Hebrides, and home of the reputedly best ceilidh in Scotland – altho’ it hadn’t yet started up for the season, needless to say – neither had the Cromarty ferry, which is why we ended up on the west coast to start with – who knew it was so close? only 55 miles from Inverness – also home of the best fish and chips I’ve ever had (helped by eating it while sitting on the waterfront watching the most amazing evening light); to Randolph’s Leap and the Findhorn river, land of green and gold; to the Benromach Distillery in sis’s home town of Forres, where they make the world’s only organic single malt (and mighty fine it is, too); and to the Automata Museum in Kinloss, owned and operated by one Michael Start, who designed the wonderful automata in Hugo (and repaired Scorsese’s watch) among many others… who knew what treasures lurked in these scottish backwaters? check it out: http://automatomania.co.uk

Sad to say, on my return I found that one of my mum’s wonderful old dogs is no more – dear sweet Patsy, one of a pair of ancient long-haired dachshunds, had a heart attack and had to be put down earlier that day… the other, her brother, dear old deaf and blind Tom, had also fallen into the fish pond a couple of nights previously (Mum had a busy time while I was away, god bless her) – he is bewildered to be on his own, and we are all bereft… I have just cleaned up the kitchen after Easter Sunday lunch – cousin David has taken Aunt Liz home, mum has taken Tom upstairs for an afternoon nap, and all is sort of all right with the world… happy easter…