Dec. 6th, Cotherstone

What a week. I have worked my tush off – rather more than I should have, probably, but I’ve done almost everything I set out to do. The potting shed is now a carpeted, furnished bedroom (only missing the bed, and curtains – oh, and the wardrobe), and a lovely room it is too.

Mick Carr came and took away sundry items, and in return will bring us a single-size wardrobe. And Moppet is making us curtains for both up and down stairs, with Peter Atkinson putting up the poles I bought, and the wall bracket lights (he thinks he may be able to use the old ones from Saltoun, which would be lovely!)

I put the upstairs back to rights, after the chaos of construction work followed by cousin David’s 3-month occupancy – both things I’m very grateful for, but tonight is the first time I feel the place cleared of the clutter and the piles and back to the peaceful place it was.

Also, and most importantly, today I finally sent off the Luristan bronzes and pots to the Ashmolean, after nearly 4 years of searching for a home for them – patience and perseverance… I am so pleased… they will be a collection in Mum’s name, and the money will be used to put a headstone, finally, on her grave in Skokie, so her name will be on both sides of the pond – only appropriate! Dad will probably be rolling in his grave (not that he has one!), Cambridge man that he was, but they were mum’s, not his, and the Ashmolean is the very best place for them – the biggest collection of Luristan stuff in the country – it’s not called the Ashmolean Museum of Art and Archaeology for nothing! I only hope they get there in one piece – I wrapped them in miles of bubble wrap.

I haven’t taken a single walk, except down to the river Sunday morning – too busy or too tired – but it’s been bitterly cold – next year…

Dinner with Jeff and Carol – his cancer is coming back, I fear, he will likely be starting chemo again in the new year. So unfair… Dinner with Mary Matthews and friends, very enjoyable folk… and I sang in the Messiah the following night at Barney School Chapel – really fun. Sunday lunch at Phil and Jane’s, supper (and bath!) at Stopover this evening… friends… the balm of my life…

And so to Menorca for a month on the finca with sis … plus a 2-week visit from Pesha, who will en route from Cairo to Istanbul, to start her new chapter – Happy Solstice! Bon Nadal! y los Reyes! So much good to be thankful for, to help balance the fear and anxiety about what’s ahead for the world. Stand and be counted… No more complacency, just tons of love and hope…. and resistance where necessary!


Nov. 9th, New York

Well, here it is, the future we’ve all refused to admit was possible… A populist revolt I can understand, the system is broken and too many millions have been disenfranchised, but THIS man?? Words fail…

It seems that both my homelands, on either side of the pond, have lost their marbles, lost the plot. First Brexit, and now this. Both of them were protest votes, understandable, yes, but NEITHER seem to have thought through the consequences – that their lives will be made worse, not better, by their choices. We have no way of knowing what will happen, given the unpredictability of the man who is now set to be one of the most powerful men on earth. Hillary won the popular vote [by 3 million votes, it turns out], just like Al Gore. That means many millions of people will now be feeling anger, fear, betrayal – where will that lead us? I cling to what Gail Collins said on the radio this morning, “the man is not crazy. Many defects – an attention span the size of a gnat (paraphrasing here), no regard for truth and accuracy, but he is not crazy.” I dearly hope not [but I’m not sure…]

We must try to love our enemies – hate will not help. But how do you tell that to all the ethnic and religious minorities that he has railed against with such racist bigotry, or the women he has insulted if not assaulted? And with the House and Senate both now Republican, not to mention the Supreme Court, where are the checks and balances? We the people…. It falls to us… It is OUR country… time to stand up and be counted, to become active citizens, not complacent couch potatoes (and I count myself amongst them).


October 10th, New York

One never knows, does one? (as Billie Holiday so aptly sang…) On to the next chapter, with my crown only half-way decorated…

Instead of the Kamikaze gig at Roulette being a celebration of Half Way Through Chemo, it turns out it was a celebration of No More Chemo… surprise surprise! It seems that after all the tests, done as a result of the blip after treatment #6, the cardiologist told the oncologist to “cease and desist” – my poor ol’ heart can’t take it, and is in a bit of a sorry state… so no more poison – yay! well, there will be 5 years of pills, starting in a month’s time – we’ll see if I can tolerate those… but no more Herceptin for sure, which is the one that was going to go through next August – so I am suddenly much more mobile and relatively poison-free… we just hope that my little ticker will mend itself (with the help of a bunch of nasty drugs, of course) so that I don’t have surgery in 6 months… I will do everything in my power to make it so… and meanwhile I have sewn the rest of the jewels onto the crown, just because… it’s fabulous… as is the wig that I unveiled at the KGC gig – electric blue Louise Brooks, now that’s how to become a member of the blue hair brigade…

The gig was wonderful, tho’ it damn nearly killed me – I was a total basket case afterwards, but it was so worth it, and the guys took such good care of me…
Roulette is a really great space to play in (with a beautiful 9′ Steinway), great acoustics, great audience, and we rocked it all, new and old tunes alike… I’m happy with my new piece – In The Lap Of The Gods – with just 2 short rehearsals, it came together at the gig, which is always satisfying… and we dug back into the archives to dust off things from the ‘80s and ‘90s, always fun…

I’ve been spending a fair amount of time up in Nyack recently – Rinde and Ellen are both gone for months so I have the run of their beautiful home whenever I want – it’s so peaceful up there compared to the city, plus we’ve been having the most glorious weather recently, perfect Indian summer… morning birds, evening crickets, deep blue sky, hot sun, cool breeze – very californian…

Two musical treats this w/end – Dudamel and the Venezuelans (aka the Simon Bolivar Orchestra) blew the roof off Carnegie Hall with their rendition of Messiaen’s Turangalila – they treated that crazy, massive piece the same effortless, but passionate, way Marcus treats his tuba like a harmonica – and then Bill Frisell at the Blue Note with his surf band – Greg Lees, Tony & Kenny – so much delight… and next week I get to hear Simon Rattle conduct Tristan at the Met…

Meanwhile this week I hope to start mixing the recording I started back in March – time to get back to work – it may not be gainful employment but it gives purpose to my life… much to be thankful for, particularly all the wonderful friends who have been by my side these past months – where would I be without you? thank you thank you thank you….

We will not talk about the continuing political circus – it beggars belief… as my friend Marika so aptly said recently, on the night of Nov.8th “hopefully we will all just exhale a sigh of relief together as we usher in the maintenance of the oppressive, systematic, racist, imperialist status quo, rather than global anarchy. Oy.”


September 3rd, New York & Jack’s Creek…

Ah, September… right on cue, the temperature has dropped, the air freshened, and it’s a pleasure to walk outside again – at least for now, I know the heat will return soon for the usual Indian summer…

Speaking of returning, I just got back from a short but idyllic spell up in the Adirondacks.  Having got through the first chapter of chemo treatments, I was rewarded with a week off, and hightailed it up to the mountains to stay with friends in their cabin deep in the woods of far upstate New York.  They bought a chunk of land up there some years ago, steep and fully forested, logged a clearing and, with the wood generated from the clearing, built (themselves) 3 beautiful cabins. Hurrah for the simple life.  She writes, he spends his days on his tractor, when not sculpting, landscaping and husbanding the forest – thinning it out to let in the light, and dragging large boulders hither and yon to create contours and shade for beds of wild flowers. I also witnessed the highly skilled removal of a very tall tree (it was threatening the bath house) with the aid of ropes and pulleys and the great skill of a mountain man tree climber…

Deep blue sky, hot sun in the clearing, dappled sunshine through the canopy of a million different shades of green, the sound of the creek nearby a constant companion – a little slice of heaven.  I slept a lot, read a lot, walked further every day through the woods, admiring the endless variety of funghi and shades of green from conifer, maple, oak and birch, and I creek dipped morning and evening. Who needs hot water?  (It is there if needed – life up there may be simple, but it’s not primitive, other than the outhouse, which is pleasingly so…)

Session #3 fairly wiped me out, but I feel much more like I do now than I did when I went up there, and am ready for chapter 2 to start next week. One quarter down, 3 to go!  Most of my hair is already gone, as I was warned, but luckily bald is a fashion statement, and I plan to shave the rest off on Monday (Labor Day, a suitable day for such endeavours, I think) and will start wearing hats and big earrings – I think I might get me a really fun wig for the Kamikaze gig at the end of the month, perhaps a return to the electric blue Louise Brooks… I also have a wonderful ESP crown to wear during the sessions, courtesy of my fairy godmother, which I am slowly decorating, a jewel for every session – with 12 points to the crown, I will be throughly bejeweled by the time I’m done – if you’ve got lemons, make lemonade…

Meanwhile the political circus continues.  I can hardly bear to listen to the news… but I think I must gird my loins and prepare to watch the first debate – this is actually happening, whether I like it or not… I feel like there is a tsunami of change headed our way and am trying to figure out the best way to deal with it… more lemonade, anyone?