Articles by Gina

And now she’s really gone – we had the thanksgiving service last weekend, and the cremation yesterday…

The service was wonderful… a gloriously cold, crisp, sunny day, the little cotherstone church was packed to the rafters, the sun shone through the stained glass windows onto the flowers, the tributes were wonderful and everyone sang lustily – particularly the Battle Hymn of the Republic, which mum had requested to see her out (we kept only the first verse, sis writing a second one that was more appropriate to the occasion) – who knew that the wonderful village organist could give so rousing a rendition? and then the house bursting at the seams with villagers and friends from all points for tea and sandwiches and stronger libations, dwindling down to the core group and way too much whisky late into the night. It was a fitting send-off – I think she would have thoroughly enjoyed it… the cremation was much harder, but just family, so keeping it together wasn’t so important. and so it is done.

We’ve had family and friends around all week, which has been hugely helpful… next week, when they’re all gone and it’s just me and sis trying to figure out what to do with all this – and the future – then the really hard part begins…. but step by step… I’m probably going to sign off from this for now… I’ll be in touch…

Well, she’s gone.

As was to be expected of her, she made a quick and brilliant exit when the time came that she was getting zero pleasure out of life. Wednesday night she was in the sitting room in front of the fire with a whisky and soda (albeit weak and in a wheelchair), thursday morning she sat in on her customary literature class via skype from her bed (happened to be on Herrick this week, her favourite 17th century poet) and she was gone by 8pm that night – last night… it is the end of an era…

We are in deep mid-winter here in Cotherstone, with a foot and a half of snow and counting. Last night was extraordinarily beautiful – bitter cold and crystal clear, with a big bright shiny moon and lots of stars – perfect for travel to the stars… and this morning it started to snow again…. Sister is stuck up in northern Scotland, snowbound, so I am on my own – hard, but perhaps a blessing in disguise.

My mother was an amazing lady – and an elegant one, who kept her sense of humour ’til the end, in spite of it all. It was a privilege to have spent the past year and some months with her, and I have done what I came to do. I will be here for some time yet, sorting out the aftermath. What comes next I have no idea – but then, when have I ever?

Happy New Year. The numbers are good – 0123… let’s hope for the best… and prepare for the worst…

We managed a pretty merry christmas, in spite of everything – I did the whole nine yards, stockings, tree, mistletoe, midnight mass, full xmas dinner for 8 with all the trimmings including home-made bread sauce with the clove-studded onion, grandma’s stuffing, the best gravy in the world (of course) and flaming pud and brandy butter – you name it… plus a really good Lafite from the cellar… always a silver lining… but by the day after Boxing Day I had a mini melt-down – sis wasn’t being much help (needing all her energies to take care of herself, and being mean to me in her spare time) and I could see no end in sight… all agreed I needed a break.

So first a night off in Swaledale, where I went for a christmas party… lovely old house made up of a row of miner’s cottages – 20-odd folk sitting around singing carols by the fire interspersed with readings, recitations (including Albert and the Lion) and songs… plus good food and drink. Lovely. And I had booked myself a room at a lovely Inn nearby, Low Rowleth – oh bliss, oh heaven… a real 24 hour holiday… I want to go back there…

And then to Belfast for the Tonk New Year’s Eve Banquet… 3 days of peace and controlled mayhem with old university friends – just what the doctor ordered… (barely made it out of the house in one piece – my sis had her meltdown that morning and it was not pretty…) The Tonk Banquet began in Belfast in 1969 (my first was 1973) and is held annually in celebration of the various and sundry exploits of Henry Tonk (brother of Ernest Tonk, maker of the Honky Tonk piano) – discovering oil, going to Hollywood, or the Psing Prawn Province, and this year the circus. Perfect. Traditionally 12 people (we were 16 this year, tho’ never more than 14 at any one time), 12 courses and 12 entertainments (each person responsible for one of each), starting at 8pm and ending at 8am in the old days – these days the attrition rate is pretty high, but a small group of us made it to 4.30… I made a merry-go-round for the hors d’oeuvres (with help) of which I was inordinately proud, and also a savoury course – someone bailed at the last minute and I cannot say no to Marcus. He said it was called “Frying Trapeze” – ?? – Isabelle came up with the brilliant notion of Trois Peas and I was away… 14 of them I made… John made a cannon that shot Henry to the balcony, along with a lot of fireworks… this year was remarkable for the number of edible courses, actually a problem… usually many are more show than blow, which makes it easier to work your way through…but it was vintage, and I had the most marvellous time… thanks, guys, for keeping it up all these years so I could be there this year…. that’s what friends are for….

Back to Cotherstone and into my studio with Sam (Brendan had arrived from CA for a week’s visit and was in the kids’ room – I’ve been doing the bouncing bedroom routine…) – lovely to be out on our own for a bit even if the family dynamic was extra complicated. Mum is really frail – can’t really leave her alone in the house unless she is in bed… but then she’s only up for about 3 hours in the morning and 3 hours in the evening…. it’s awful to see her struggling up the stairs, oh so slowly, one ghastly step at a time, but at least she can still do it (only bloody just…) We all went to Richmond to see Life of Pi – a great outing, and what a film – breathtaking… only blighted by the fact that Sam was at the vet’s under general anesthetic having a bunch of stitches in his right front leg…. I thought he’d been in a fight but the vet thinks he caught it on something – massive gash, but very clean, and luckily no tendons or ligaments ripped, only the skin… after a couple of rocky days he seems his old self pretty much – but oh my heart…. didn’t sleep much for a couple of nights…

Brendan left a couple of days ago and Diana left this morning, so now it’s just mum and me. My new year’s resolution is to recognise when I need help and ask for it. I have started this week to have a carer come in for a half hour 5 days a week – sometimes morning, sometimes lunchtime, and one evening – it’s going to take working out, but I cannot do this alone…. already I know I need more…

On a lighter note, a lovely sight one morning as I was walking down the Hagg to the river – on the crest of the hill opposite, up by Low Shipley Farm, first one horse with a red-coated rider galloped across, then 2, then the entire hunt – fabulous…

and Diana and I got a lovely day’s hike over cronkley fell…

Also I had a loaner mandola for a month – a beautiful Fylde Octavius – I want one… the perfect continuo instrument with which to conduct Orfeo…