December 22nd, Cotherstone

Well, the world didn’t end, mirabile dictu… but it has been a rough few weeks.

Mum had another op, 7 more tumors removed by local anesthetic, and I thought for a few days afterwards that she was checking out – it really took it out of her (no ghastly pun intended) – that’s the last time, I reckon. But she has finally rallied somewhat – the doc gave her a course of steroids to see if she’ll eat a bit more and get enough strength to enjoy the holidays and Brendan (youngest grandson)’s visit from CA in early January – after that, who knows? Meanwhile she is pretty high maintenance, god bless her… soon time for help, I reckon… But enough of the doom and gloom… the weather is doing plenty of that, thank you very much…

It is absolutely MISERABLE out there – dark grey, cold and unbelievably wet – thank heavens we live high up above the river, it’s in full spate, has been for several days, and there’s flooding in all directions… We did have a fabulous cold snap earlier in the month, with plenty of snow and ice and some blue skies, and consequently some good hiking, and hopefully the sun will come out again, if not tomorrow, then sometime soon – meanwhile the full length, caped and lined mac that I picked up secondhand has come into its own (it even has straps to go around your legs so it doesn’t blow open in the wind!) The short dark days put both me and my sis on a short fuse, which is not so good, but we are still walking together, in between spats, it is the only road to sanity… I caught a cold just before mum’s op (that 3-gig weekend did me in, I think, plus hiking in the snow), and tho’ I’ve got it under control, I’ve had a wretched cough ever since that I can’t shake, so have not been singing with the choir, tho’ I did go carol singing around the village here, stupidly but bravely – community spirit is important – but oh for a week in the sun with no obligations…. the good news is that my aunt was getting new carpets in her house, so I got her old stuff and have lined the studio floor from one end to the other – I miss the beautiful old floorboards, but tho’ not exactly salubrious, it sure is warmer! And the tree is up in the house, and decorated, and we light lots of candles morning and evening to chase away the dark and gloom…

At least we have passed the shortest day – even if you can’t tell because of the dark clouds and pouring rain, there will be more light every day, and we are heading back towards summer – hooray… a WONDERFUL SOLSTICE to one and all, and here’s to the return of the light. And a very merry to one and all, also. See you next year?


December 6th

Sitting by the fire, waiting for a late night skype call from doug… sam is draped across the back of the armchair in which I am sitting in front of the fire – not a bad life….he is turning into an outdoor kitty, spending hours a day outside – the mighty hunter… he’s managed to figure out how to get into my studio by himself (the door latch is funky) so if if gets too cold out in the snow… smart cat…

I had a 3-gig weekend – 2 different choirs and a short solo set… go figure… on Friday I sang carols on the grand staircase at the Bowes Museum (the french chateau in the heart of teesdale); on Sunday I sang at Reeth Methodist Chapel – gorgeous little building, a real gem, singing Britten’s Ceremony of Carols and much else… really good harpist…. and Saturday night I did a short solo set to end the first half of the Mickleton piano teacher’s pupil’s recital in the Village Hall – couldn’t help thinking of MTO playing in Milan at the same time, made me smile…

I took mum to david crane’s english class this morning – the first lecture on macbeth – good one… we’ll miss the second part next week as thursday is when she gets her next slice – 4 more tumors to be removed at durham hospital…. we were hoping to wait until after brendan’s visit in january, but Rubin the surgeon said better do it now, while they are still small and relatively simple to remove, so be it… he and Ann Irwin the nurse specialist have been wonderful, I am so grateful… mum is really very frail now… still game, still valiant (a 4 hour bridge tournament the other day, held here in aid of a cancer charity, that started at 10 a.m. – which translated into me getting up at 7am to get her started in time) but it is all a supreme effort for her – I think that was the last bridge day…. Just getting up and downstairs for breakfast is a major ordeal now, her breathing is terrible…. and the marbles are going, albeit very slowly.. she cannot prepare food for herself, and can barely eat it if I do – the trouble is that she has figured out she no longer has much sense of taste or smell left – just sense memory…. she is just a skeleton covered in skin… she still gets her own alcoholic beverages, but for how long? even those are getting fewer and weaker, a sure sign of the times….

yesterday was a respite in the ghastly weather and I took a long hike up Lunedale, along the north side of Selset reservoir, a first for me – so beautiful, so remote… up to wemmergil and stackholme, back along the deserted road, past a burnt-out church in the last of the light – beautiful sunset, which should have boded a lovely day following, but instead we got lots of snow and sleet and wind… we’re set to have snow every day for the next week – winter is upon us…. another great hike the week before, up in the high country toward Alston – cross fell in deep snow, the moor thick with frost…